Saturday, November 30, 2013

Letters of Note - the book, addendum

It appears that I did not see a little link over on the side of the Letters of Note website regarding how to order the book.  It appears that my US-centric thinking took over and I assumed that since it is not available in the US until May, that it was unavailable everywhere.  It turns out that our lucky UK friends can already buy the book!  Now I understand why the actor who shall not be named had one - since he was in England, it all makes sense now.  I am suitably chastised.

Here is more information -

Well, time to run.  I am off to Trader Joes, the bookstore (to make my Christmas list!), and the movies.  Sounds like a nearly perfect night. The only thing that would make it more perfect would be if I were going with someone special - in a not-hanging-out-with-my-kid-on-a-Saturday-night kind of way :)

Letters of Note - Star Trek casting

I discovered the website "Letters of Note" this past summer, when I was off work and had a lot of time for reading.  It is intriguing.  It calls itself an "attempt to gather and sort fascinating letters, postcards, telegraphs, faxes and memos" - a compilation of correspondence from a wide variety of political figures, actors, authors, average Joe's with something important to say, and other people of interest.  Many of the letters are heartbreaking, some are funny, others poignant.  All make for a good read.  

It has come to my attention that it is being compiled in book-form and won't be available until May (and will contain only 100 letters instead of the 900+ on the website).  [I would sure like to know how a certain Star Trek actor got what apparently must be an advance copy - I guess having connections helps!  I am sooo jealous.]  Apparently, I got all excited for nothing seeing a hard copy in someones hands.  I will have to take the book off my Christmas wish list and put it on my May birthday wish list instead.  < sigh >   Not that there is anything wrong with reading online.  I do a lot of online reading.  I am just in love with the feel of a book in my hands. I love the smell of paper and the sound of a page being turned. I enjoy seeing stacks of books pushed up against my walls where my son and I have run out of bookshelf space. I love having a pile of books-in-progress on the coffee table.  I love being able to get lost in a story, tucked into a blanket on my couch with a cup of coffee I have forgotten completely about.  Patience is a virtue I reluctantly possess, so I shall try to curb my enthusiasm until May.  That doesn't mean I have to like it.

In keeping with many things Trek related on my site, the first letter I will post from the website is a memo on the casting process for The Next Generation.  Read it, and smile :)

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Regarding Suicide

A friend's son attempted suicide two days ago.  I feel so sad for both of them - for my friend who is heartbroken and scared, and for her son, a good person who cannot see his own worth.  Having been there myself many moons ago as a teen, I empathize with the hapless, helpless and hopeless feelings.  It's horrible feeling trapped and thinking nothing will change, that the pain will remain or can only get worse.  As the mother of a son with mental health disorders, I hope I am never in my friends' shoes.

If you, any of my readers, are considering suicide as an option, please... stay.  Suicide is not a great solution - the pain you cause your loved ones is heart wrenching and I think there must be consequences of some sort on the Other Side.  There is always a solution to your problem that doesn't involve killing yourself.  Just because you haven't thought of it yet doesn't mean it doesn't exist.  If you know someone who is depressed, ask them about it.  You won't give them "ideas" - you will give them hope.  If you know someone with some of the risk factors above, call for advice.  If you want to end it all, reach out for help since you have 'nothing to lose', because on the other hand, you do have everything to gain.  If you are in despair, if you are trapped by abuse, domestic violence, alcoholism or drug abuse, being closeted, being bullied - please make one more effort.

If you need encouragement to make that call, email me at (but I check it only every few days).  If you can't find someone local who will listen and refer you to trained people who can help, then call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-237-TALK (8255).  Please... stay.

Sunday, November 24, 2013

What Do You Fear? (Chris Pine quote)

Last week I had the crap scared out of me by a bureaucratic snafu.  With one letter in the mail, I found myself thrust in a deep well of panic and fear.  Tunnel vision narrowed my focus to the people and things that mattered most, and that I could count on one hand.  Fortunately, the issue appears to be resolved and equilibrium has been restored.  What shocked me in hindsight from the incident is is how fast I went from “everything is fine” to “holy shit, it’s the End of the World As I Know It – Again.”  It was a shockingly fast trip.

Since then, I have been considering the role of fear in my life.  How it has shaped my choices and how it has impacted my decision making process, and how it continues to do so.  How it has molded my life.  I have also been pondering those instances where I pushed through fear regardless of those feelings, for better or worse.  

My readers should know by now that I like to link my blog posts back to articles or quotes from actors associated with Star Trek, and here’s a nice one to start off today’s blog post.  It’s short and sweet, thank you, Chris Pine.

“Fear runs our lives a lot of the time.  You can face it head-on, or you can hide in your bunker.” ~ CP

What do you fear?

I can think of numerous common fears off the top of my head.  Typical fears, like the fear of spiders or public speaking and of being mugged in a dark alley.  Then there are deeper fears.  Fear of poverty and losing what you have worked for.  Fear of getting sick and being incapacitated.  Fear of failure.  Fear of success.  Fear of intimacy and of being known.  Fear of being taken advantage of.  Fear of betrayal.  Fear of imperfection and feeling unworthy.  Fear of being alone.  Fear of missed opportunities.  Fear of not living an authentic life.  Fear of not living up to your potential.  Fear of living a lie.  Then there are true phobias and disordered thinking, but that is not what I am addressing here.  What do you fear?  What keeps you up at night?  What makes you weak in the knees or sick to your stomach when you consider it?

Why should we look at our fears?  Because they impact our actions and our emotions.  And those impact other people, in addition to keeping us from our greatest potential.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.  Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.  It is our light not our darkness, that most frightens us.” ~ Marianne Williamson

My greatest fear is probably peculiar sounding to many people.   I fear not living before I die.  I fear not having the courage to embrace the heights and depths of human experience.  I fear getting to the end of my days and having regrets for the things I did not do, for the times I allowed fear to dictate my actions. I fear not using my own inherent power as a loving human being in the best way possible.  I fear not making a difference.

What are your fears?  Consider them.  Examine, deconstruct and tear them apart.  Shine light into their depths.  And don’t let your fears keep you from your best destiny.

“Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes – you’re free.” ~ Jim Morrison

Friday, November 22, 2013

Tchaikovsky Flashwaltz

Tchaikovsky always gets me into a holiday mood.  And since I'm cooking for 20 people next week, I need a large amount of holiday cheer.  And maybe vodka, but I will start with cheer.

I love these random acts of culture :D

Sunday, November 17, 2013

The Mysterious Zoe Saldana

I am having difficulties reading Zoe Saldana.  The interviews I have read just are not “meaty” enough to satisfy me.  Who is this talented actress who starred in the highest grossing film of all time (Avatar)?  Who is the new Uhura?  Hopefully someday she will have the good fortune to run into an interviewer who can actually interview and we will find out.  In the meantime, we will have to survive on bits and pieces of real information and hints of depth.  

What’s most immediately obvious is the obvious – she is seriously beautiful.  Duh.  Allure Magazine let the world know that she weighs 115 lbs. (as if that’s the most interesting and important thing anyone could possibly want to know about someone).  Thanks so much for putting that on the cover of your magazine, Allure, I don’t know how I would have managed to sit through my lunch break in the staff room without reading about it!  But who is she?  What are her dreams?  How does she feel about starring in Avatar or Star Trek?  What are her career goals?  What’s up next on her agenda? I have read numerous interviews and its still all rather a mystery to me.

There was one article I liked where her Star Trek co-star Zachary Quinto interviewed her.  Zach is so very eloquent, he is a joy to read or listen to in nearly any context.  Unfortunately, the interview was about the world of fashion, which they are both interested in but I am not.  I have to put faith in the fact that if Zach has glowing things to say about her – and he does – we may find out eventually, also.  We can hope.

Zoe grew up in Queens, NY, and in the Dominican Republic.  She moved to New York City at 17 years old to study acting, and her careers – acting and modeling - just took off into the stratosphere from there.  I admit that I have not seen many of her movies, although along with the entire world, I was impressed with her acting in Avatar and Star Trek

I do like the one quote I have found that was not relate to weight, being beautiful or making movies, though it was about age.  “I’m very accepting with my age.  It’s like notches on your belt: experience, wisdom and a different kind of beauty.  There comes a day when you’ve become comfortable in your skin”.  Being comfortable in your own skin is a good thing, it’s true.  The evil side of me, however would like to say - “darlin’, when you turn 40, then we’ll talk.”  You are still a baby at 30. J  However, I have no doubt that Zoe Saldana will still be relevant, beautiful and making movies at 40, and 50 and 70 years old.  If we are lucky!

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Anthony Hopkins' Philosophy

I like it.  I need to go think on this for a few days.  Good stuff.

Sunday, November 10, 2013

Los Angeles

I feel
alive in the city
sunshine, busy pretty people, farmers markets
taking the curves of Mulholland Drive
scarlet bougainvillea and orange blossoms
beautiful queers on Santa Monica Boulevard
sunset over the left coast
the Melrose gate
impossible dreams, cinema ghosts, too much traffic
Santa Ana winds and palm trees
my lost city
Los Angeles

~ kerry vill 11/10/13

Saturday, November 9, 2013


the darkness inside me is howling, threatening to swallow me whole
the depths of my heart resemble a fucking black hole
people skim the surface and think that they see
the total sum of the parts that  make up what they call 'me'
but those visible instances, evidences and realities
are absurd, simplistic, existential anomalies
you don't know me.  I walk alone.

~ kerry vill 11/9/13

Happy birthday to Robbie McNeill!

A happy birthday shout out to Robbie McNeill (Robert Duncan McNeill) who played "Lt. Tom Paris" on Star Trek: Voyager. Once upon a time, I helped Robbie answer fan mail for a season.  What a disaster, lol. :D  Cheers to a good, decent human being.  Hope you and your family have a great day, Robbie!

Tuesday, November 5, 2013

Happy Birthday to Armin Shimerman!

Happy Birthday, Armin!  I miss the days when Gayle and I would go see you in whatever play you were doing and then go to dinner afterwards with whomever we wrangled up, with you and Kitty.  I hope you have a fantastic birthday!  

For those of you unfamiliar with the fabulous Mr. Armin Shimerman, he portrayed Quark on Star Trek: Deep Space Nine and is one of the most talented actors on the planet.  He also had reoccurring roles on Buffy the Vampire Slayer and The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy, my favorite cartoon of all time!  These days Armin can be found at the Antaeus Company, a not-for-profit theater company in Los Angeles, when he's not working elsewhere.

I found an incredible interview while doing a bit of research.  If you are interested in Armin or in the art of acting, you should read this!  I will be doing a longer post when my computer is not acting like a jerk.

His imdb link is incredible . Again, happy birthday!

Teens Abduct Lama and Party!

I wanted to do something significant for my 50th post - my personal ad, perhaps?  But I cannot, just cannot resist this story and I simply MUST tell you about it because I laughed my ass off and it's too good NOT to repost.

Some French teenagers abducted a lama from a local circus and hit the town with the beast in tow.  How awesome is that?!  His name is Serge and now he's famous.  The teens are NOT in trouble, LOL.  I can't beat that.  I've got nothing.  Thanks for the laugh, Serge, and you saucy teenagers, you rock my world!

Sunday, November 3, 2013

A Ringwraith & "Shaun of the Dead"

What does a Ringwraith from The Lord of the Rings and Shaun from Shaun of the Dead have in common?  They both live in my apartment!   :D

Took my son out trick-or-treating (him as a Ringwraith who has found the One Ring) as Shaun... I was wearing so many layers I felt like a sausage... and my food coloring "blood" ran in the rain. I came home wearing a lot more pink than I've worn in years!  It was cold, foggy and drizzling wet, but fun nonetheless!

Of course my shirt reads: "Take car.  Go to Mums.  Kill Phil (sorry).  Get Liz.  Go to the Winchester.  Have a cold pint.  Wait for it all to blow over."

All hail the genius of Simon Pegg!

Saturday, November 2, 2013

Twisted Fairy Tales by William Shatner

"Goldilocks and the Three Bears" as you've NEVER heard it before, as read by the fabulous William Shatner.  I love this man!  Not "G" rated :D  Almost as much fun as "Go the Fuck To Sleep" read by Sam Jackson.  Maybe I'll find that next!  Come on, people, get a life...